Friday, December 31, 2010

Why the Christmas Season Sucks

I can feel the glares boring into my skull already just from my controversial title, but please, hear me out before you demand crucifixions and burnings, okay? .... please? PUT THE CROSS DOWN.

In all seriousness I'm sitting here at quarter to seven on New Year's Eve, and I have yet to really get excited over the prospect of a new year. Most people are out right now, celebrating with friends and loved ones, while in about 45 minutes I'm going to be abandoned by my parents to spend the entire night surfing the net, playing Fable 3 (yes, I nerd out a lot. Deal with it.), and consuming mass amounts of cream and grape soda to fuel the fact that I will be spending the night alone in spaced out hyperactivity. Geez, isn't that a charming image?

Honestly, it's nights like this I wish I liked alcohol. I get giggly and happy after a few shots of peppermint schnapps, but I've never actually been totally hammered, in spite of the fact that I've been legally allowed to drink for a year and a half. Yay for Canada's 19 year old drinking age! I still feel like a Grinch. Maybe I am. But I have yet to see any amount of green fur or an undersized heart, so maybe I'm just bitter.

So rather than being allowed to drink myself into a coma, because I wouldn't be able to stomach it, and I don't like the idea of losing my dinner all night, I get to spend it in an acute state of hyperactivity, twitching and trying to unravel the mysteries of this new game that I haven't touched, yet have owned for a whole two freaking days. While maybe. MAYBE. Talking to some people on Skype. Skype is awesome, did you know that? It's even better now that my laptop has a built in microphone. My old one was a piece of chit, and huge compared to my netbook.

So this post wasn't very funny. I don't think I'm funny, but I've potentially killed people with my old posts. Remember the vanilla-coated-dark-chocolate-venus-flytrap-like-contraption? I do. It still makes me laugh. And I still haven't got to the point of this post yet, and I'm three or four paragraphs in already.

The Christmas season, otherwise the week of and the week after Christmas (this includes New Year's eve/day), sucks. Majorly. Because all it ever serves to do is to remind you that your life sucks. Resolutions only turn into impossible goals that make you feel worse about yourself. In all honesty, has ANYONE ever followed through on all their resolutions for the new year? And when you don't reach the goals, how does that make you feel? It only serves to make you feel worse about yourself, shovelling those goals to the next year until they compound to the point where all you want to do is lay down on your bed and not move for fear that your next breath will only yield more failure.

So. Much. Failure.

Yes, this is why the Christmas season sucks. At least, in my eyes. Perhaps you're different?

PS. Fuck you blue jays. YOU SUCK MORE.

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